Since two to three years the price of precious yellow metal, the gold for which women especially Indian, have special admirations, is on an upward volatility. My mother had a wish to wear a new golden Mangala Sutra and buy little more golden ornaments. She used ask me about the latest price; I used to update her and frighten her with my own future price predictions. But I’m sure henceforth she won’t ask the gold price; the reason is henceforward she won’t be wearing the Mangala Sutra, painful but true, my father is no more.
People say my father was blessed to get such a death, any one could desire. A sudden and abrupt demise; not giving a slightest opportunity to put a drop of water in his mouth to anyone including his wife and children; not getting bedridden or hospitalized for single day. People used to give examples of those wishing and waiting for death. They used to ask; ‘other than one thing that his was not an age to die, what else we can comment about such a wishful death he got?’ I know these are the words anyone including me had told and are telling to console ourselves. These are our consolatory explanations, who wept silently when we are alone; while sleeping, in bathroom, riding the bike, strolling in the areca nut farm in the morning or watering the coco nut trees in the evening; remembering the memories, good and difficult times of past; also tried hard to show smile on face when we saw each other, tried to make other person happy or attempted to divert the attention.
I think the very reason why we sorrow is due to attachment we develop with the person who demised; the company we enjoyed and suddenly we realize that from next moment we are bound to lose the companionship, because the person is no more in his flesh and blood. His physical body lost something unknown and abstract thing, which gave the body what we call “life”, ceased its presence. So it may be derived that we are sorrow due to death of someone beloved, not because he or she left the physical body, but because we lost the fellowship we hitherto enjoyed. Is our grief selfish?
Whatever…
While standing in front of the incinerating fire which was reducing my father’s abandoned body to ashes, many things came and went in mind; from thought of meaning of meaning of life to smashaana vairaagya.
But, really is there a rational motive to live and reason to love life?
Yes. The reason is that the death is inevitable for those who are born.
